Oh, the thrill of it all
So maybe I won't be able to rise from the deathpit I turned my life into. But I'll survive and will be able to stay afloat. Potentially happy. I'm trying for the rise though, but not very hard. Maybe I'll panick at the last minute, maybe I won't. Maybe everything will turn out how envisioned it. But even if it doesn't I am so grateful for how things have been turning out where it matters that I don't even care about the rest. There's health, a place of quiet, a sense of contentment. I hope it will reach fullfilment if I made it right this time. But if I failed, I didn't fail completely. I got on the right path at last and banished the darkness that infected me a long time ago. I was afraid to face it but it brought such beautiful sense of peace I hadn't grasped in ages. It almost destroyed me. But I met my monster and he met me. And I am finally alone now.